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Fauxtherhood
Ryan and Aiden are brothers. They are also 24 years apart. A lot about this situation freaks Ryan out. These are some of these times.
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Chicken Nuggets
Dad told me to get Aiden some chicken nuggets for Aiden before I get home. I’ll be treated as a hero bringing home glorious treasures when I arrive.
My tiny umbrella, which only keeps my head dry and the rest of me wet, looks normal sized to Aiden.
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09
Holy crap! Put that down! You have no idea what kind of power you hold with that!
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09
400 Points!!
I used to let Aiden pretend to play my XBox 360. Apparently, he like to see the colors of the screen change and see ads about the latest Gears of War 2 maps.
He’s giggling, he’s laughing and enjoying himself. He even managed to start up Braid. Then he went back to the home screen and saw a pretty ad for Ikaruga. And bought it. With the 400 points I had left. The hell.
I don’t even play that game! I don’t like those Japanese bullet hell shooters! I don’t even know what the hell is going on in the screenshot below!
What I’ve learned is that if you’re white, black hurts you. If you’re black, white hurts you. Therefore, Ikaruga is racist!
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09
Aiden likes to create fire hazards. I don’t really stop him.
Photo Album
Aiden and Dad are looking through an old photo album when I walked into his room. Aiden flipped through the pages wildly until he stops on a baby photo of me wearing sunglasses.
“Who’s that?” I asked Aiden.
“Aiden!” he said.
Goddammit, that’s not you! I was a cuter baby than you! Now go to sleep!
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Bottle
Mom and Dad are worried about Aiden always needing a bottle of milk to help him go to sleep, wondering when he’ll grow out of it.
Mom and Dad are also worried about Ryan always needing a bottle of tequila to help him go to sleep, wondering when did he grow into it.
Adventures In Faux Fatherhood
Ryan and Aiden are brothers. They are also 24 years apart. A lot about this situation freaks Ryan out. These are some of these times.
